So, I tend to write these posts when my firefighter is not at home. (I'm officially changing from plumber to firefighter because he doesn't work as a plumber anymore.) When he got home from a meeting at the firehouse last week, he didn't say anything to me about the blog. I kept looking for signs that he had read it - and he said nothing.
After we put sweetie-bug (his daughter) to bed, I was trying to play it cool and casually mentioned, "I wrote another blog post tonight..." he responded with, "oh yeah? I guess I'll read it tomorrow." Instantly - the wind out of my sails...until he grinned and said, "I read it before I came home...I wasn't going to say anything because it just kind of ended in the middle - you never said what good came from it."
Well, then. I guess I posted prematurely.
To the outside observer, our 23 months of wedded bliss have been anything but. My firefighter was laid off 2 months after we got married and was unemployed for almost 9 months. We faced a summer of no income - as a teacher we don't get paid from June to mid-September - and there was nothing we could do about it. We dealt with false accusations and investigations. We have survived surgeries and hospitalizations. We have endured a lengthy (read: marathon) trial, which inches from the finish line, may be starting over. We have heard (and hopefully overcome) some of the worst news possible. We weathered weeks apart for job training. And all this was on top of the normal adjustment to getting married/moving in with each other. Stress. Depression. Powerlessness. Heartache.
Through all this, we had a commitment to each other - it was still so fresh on our minds because the vows had just been said. We learned how to spend time together without spending a dime. Yes - we're that couple that sits in lawn chairs in our driveway watching the stars on a summer night. We learned how to support and encourage each other. I learned that when I'm weak and at the point of giving up - he'll step in and have the faith and hope I need.
We had the blessing of simplicity. We couldn't afford anything more. We cooked for each other, watched Netflix until we ran out of shows to watch. We talked with each other - about nothing and everything. We learned first hand that a cord of three-strands is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). With each other and God - we had everything we needed. So the blessing is that I have a wonderful husband who understands me and loves me despite the mess that I am. He is a hard worker, a public servant, incredibly handy, and an amazing dad. He is hard-headed and refuses to listen 97% of the time - but then again....that's me too.
Our marriage is far from perfect - but we've made it through so much already. Believe me - there were times I think we both had our doubts we'd make it. We've argued, cried, slammed doors (my personal favorite) but we've also celebrated, laughed and every once in a while - he'll sit next to me and snuggle. We discovered a couple secrets to help make the choice to stay together a little easier.
1. Pray for one another. Even in the midst of a massive argument (yeah, we've had a few of those) it's really difficult to stay angry when you stop and pray for the other person. It gives you a moment where you take the focus off your agenda and put your spouse in the spotlight.
2. Put your relationship first. I tend to be a little strong-willed. (HA!) When I put my plans or ideas aside and listen to what my firefighter is saying or doing - it lets him know that he ranks above everything else. I can tell him that he's my priority - but if my schedule or actions are sending a different message, he won't believe me.
3. Stop taking each other for granted. A "thank you" can go a long way. Encourage each other with simple gestures of appreciation and caring for each other.
4. Choose love. Remember why you're together. Remember the first date and the butterflies at your first kiss. As the craziness of life sets in, love becomes as much a choice as it is an emotion - sometimes more of a choice! Choice is an action with direction - as opposed to an emotion left to find it's way on its own.
My biggest blessing is that I get to "do life" with my firefighter for the rest of my days.
After we put sweetie-bug (his daughter) to bed, I was trying to play it cool and casually mentioned, "I wrote another blog post tonight..." he responded with, "oh yeah? I guess I'll read it tomorrow." Instantly - the wind out of my sails...until he grinned and said, "I read it before I came home...I wasn't going to say anything because it just kind of ended in the middle - you never said what good came from it."
Well, then. I guess I posted prematurely.
To the outside observer, our 23 months of wedded bliss have been anything but. My firefighter was laid off 2 months after we got married and was unemployed for almost 9 months. We faced a summer of no income - as a teacher we don't get paid from June to mid-September - and there was nothing we could do about it. We dealt with false accusations and investigations. We have survived surgeries and hospitalizations. We have endured a lengthy (read: marathon) trial, which inches from the finish line, may be starting over. We have heard (and hopefully overcome) some of the worst news possible. We weathered weeks apart for job training. And all this was on top of the normal adjustment to getting married/moving in with each other. Stress. Depression. Powerlessness. Heartache.
Through all this, we had a commitment to each other - it was still so fresh on our minds because the vows had just been said. We learned how to spend time together without spending a dime. Yes - we're that couple that sits in lawn chairs in our driveway watching the stars on a summer night. We learned how to support and encourage each other. I learned that when I'm weak and at the point of giving up - he'll step in and have the faith and hope I need.
We had the blessing of simplicity. We couldn't afford anything more. We cooked for each other, watched Netflix until we ran out of shows to watch. We talked with each other - about nothing and everything. We learned first hand that a cord of three-strands is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). With each other and God - we had everything we needed. So the blessing is that I have a wonderful husband who understands me and loves me despite the mess that I am. He is a hard worker, a public servant, incredibly handy, and an amazing dad. He is hard-headed and refuses to listen 97% of the time - but then again....that's me too.
Our marriage is far from perfect - but we've made it through so much already. Believe me - there were times I think we both had our doubts we'd make it. We've argued, cried, slammed doors (my personal favorite) but we've also celebrated, laughed and every once in a while - he'll sit next to me and snuggle. We discovered a couple secrets to help make the choice to stay together a little easier.
1. Pray for one another. Even in the midst of a massive argument (yeah, we've had a few of those) it's really difficult to stay angry when you stop and pray for the other person. It gives you a moment where you take the focus off your agenda and put your spouse in the spotlight.
2. Put your relationship first. I tend to be a little strong-willed. (HA!) When I put my plans or ideas aside and listen to what my firefighter is saying or doing - it lets him know that he ranks above everything else. I can tell him that he's my priority - but if my schedule or actions are sending a different message, he won't believe me.
3. Stop taking each other for granted. A "thank you" can go a long way. Encourage each other with simple gestures of appreciation and caring for each other.
4. Choose love. Remember why you're together. Remember the first date and the butterflies at your first kiss. As the craziness of life sets in, love becomes as much a choice as it is an emotion - sometimes more of a choice! Choice is an action with direction - as opposed to an emotion left to find it's way on its own.
My biggest blessing is that I get to "do life" with my firefighter for the rest of my days.
Michelle - Great words. Love you guys! So glad we got to celebrate your wedding day with you. Such a special occasion. This post read a little like a campaigner lesson. I had been in need of one of your campaigner lessons! haha
ReplyDeleteHave a great week!